she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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