East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
