Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
