Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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