Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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