my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
