Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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