Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
