We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
