You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
