he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
