I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
