im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
