I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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