then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
