she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
