You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
