It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
