whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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