That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
