ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
