Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
