We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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