I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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