Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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