how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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