***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
