There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
