oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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