I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
