I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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