awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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