How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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