How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
