I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
