Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
