I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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