Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
