So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
