Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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