I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
