I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
