FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
