YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
