omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
