I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
