i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
did you just send me my own nude
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
