I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
