just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
