She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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